Friday, March 29, 2013

Leaping through Color

It's official! I've lost my marbles!

To date, my life has mostly been structured and consistent. It has always been easy.

So I decided to take the plane I've grown up on and spin it, invert it, and toss it to a point on an unknown axis.

This is me willingly deciding to go insane and to let go of everything that made my life static and simple.


Because structured and simple provided me with a normal life and right now that isn't what I want to pursue.

I don't want to wake up everyday to the same routine with the same interactions.

Static has become grey on the palette I'm using to color my life.

What I wanted most was to let go of the girl I grew up being and pursue the woman I would like to become; impulsively, I decided that would be most effective if I stripped myself bare and donned new skin that didn't match everyone else. I also thought jumping off a bridge would help.

This was me! A stereotyped blonde of society living a reality limited by a static role.

&& This is me going crazy! I'm not sure if it's the right thing to say, but I kind of like dynamics.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Art Work of a Junior High DaNi!

When I was twelve I had a very active imagination. On the rare weekends when I didn't have band practice or karate tournaments, I'd spend time reading or doodling. This is the art work of one misspent Saturday.

This was me four months ago; your everyday, all-american girl. That is, until I met him-Athony!!! Then things changed!

The moment Anthony entered her life, he caused Erika's sanity to become chaotic.

Erika changed a lot for Anthony. Perhaps she changed too much! [she was pressured by drugs and sex]

One day Anthony confessed that as good as Erika was in bed [and everywhere else], he wasn't interested in her. It was that day Erika realized that perhaps her new life dedicated and dependent on porn and drugs was a mistake. That same day she met Squirrely and sheltered him. Squirrely helped her recover and guided her to her true calling- becoming a punk super star! [BOY COULD THE GIRL SING!]

This is Squirrely, the crazy and very unlucky cat! [More like her guardian Kitty]

Which leads back to me today! Erika Susan Boyd [and Squirrely, the crazy kitty]! Trying to become a world famous punk super star!

If only I could perform in front of crowds >_<

All I've ever wanted to do is be able to sing in front of an audience without CHOKING! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

Oh! My! Gahhhhhh!!!! Why can't I sing a single note while everyone is watching!?!

Silly Erika!

Maybe I should have listened to everyone back home when they said I should give up. I guess it's my mistake.

If only she could sing in public like she could do other things [like fellatio and 69]!!!

She and Squirrely worked night and day on her performance phobia. They made little, but still noticeable progress

Squirrely made Erika sing loudly into the night until she was too tired to care. He asured her every person in the apartment complex could hear her sing. She preceded to improve tremendously.

Several days later, when Squirrely was certain Erika was ready to be a Punk Super Star he left her a large and very painful surprise in the Kitty Box. A magical microphone which Erika appreciated greatly!!!

That same night was Erika's big performance and the microphone magically transformed her! Erika's voice became amplified and confident, her aura became calm and tranquil!

The crowd loved her!

She was a hit!!!

Erika became so famous and popular that even her "beloved" Anthony came crawling back to her!

Apparently his current Suga' Mama', Ariel, the porno star he had left Erika for was no longer as financially secure as Erika.

And boy did Anthony love being pampered!!!

But Erika had learned from her previous mistake [Her obsessive infatuation with with Anthony]. Thanks to the help of Zingo, her brave flying toaster, she put the sick and manipulative bastard out of his misery!

With Erika's beauty, fame, and wealth; her lies flowed easily.The police officers declared Erika's innocence and announced Anthony's death a dick-head suicide.

Erika continued to perform and the crowd continued to love her.

With the cops happy and financially credited; Erika's drama degenerated and she developed a sense of satisfaction with herself.

Feeling secure she preformed her final "Punk Super Star" show and was a smash!

After the show Squirrely confessed that he was a man and the could only be changed back to his human form with a big, sloppy kiss!

Erika obliged!

Squirrely became the midget prince he was born as and he and Erika eloped in a Dodge Dude Truck.

They lived happily together for two week then were smashed by a "pimped out" dumpster.


These are just random doodles during lectures. It was just before the time I was became interested in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comics =]

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Last of the Consequence

No consequences, that’s how I feel things should have ended. We were both getting what we wanted, but I became greedy and I wanted more from you than what was being offered. For a moment, I thought you would let me have my way. You did not; instead, you started to dodge me. I may have rebuffed at that response. I have never been skilled at taking rejection gracefully, but you were as equally talented at handling confrontation.

I have moments where my barriers slip and I feel shrouded by darkness. There’s always someone behind me, and I can’t face him. He’s after the warmth I keep protected in my chest. He scares me.

During those moments, I panic and my heartbeat jumps, but then I realize you don’t exists anymore. If it weren’t for the memories, I wouldn’t believe you were real.

Friday, March 15, 2013

A Fun Piece

Every year they come and take over my home. They put up their booths and stands without any regards to the domiciles they’re disrupting. I can’t take it!

Not this year!

I will have my revenge on Vintage Days for their invasion on my domain! I will shut down the student group with every follicle of fur on my endothermic body! When twilight arrives, my spleenful plot will execute I felt electric with spark from fibers of wires being gnawed between my dulled incisors. Each split in the wires opened the gap of separation from input to output; by sunrise, their supply of electricity will drop to zero and their plans for celebration will die.

Plans are never meant to be absolute, but my anticipation for interruption was minute. In the midst of my revenge, I was throttled from my reverie by a bull dog.

Victor E. had caught me, a frenzied squirrel trying to extract vengeance through defilement of Vintage Day property. The adrenaline from panic pumped from my whiskers to my tail, but I relented in suspending my current activities to account for my misanthropic actions.

Victor E. didn’t attack me, he just watched.

The intensity of his eyes were pressuring the truth from my mouth, and I began to confide my frustrations of this event and my life to him. Victor E. didn’t speak a single word during the entirety of my rant. As the last syllable slipped through my lips, an onslaught of exhaustion wracked my body.

I felt Victor E. step closer and trepidation trembled throughout me- but I didn’t sense any rage, just comfort. He had listened to my confession and in reflection, I realized I sounded pathetic. He sat beside me and told me that frustration is nothing to bury; it’s the truth of our thoughts that we are ashamed to acknowledge and suppress- but it’s natural. His words relaxed my rigid frame as I listened to him elaborate the rights of frustration at frivolous things. He held my attention captive by the confidence in his speech. Our discussion drifted towards Vintage Days. We spoke of the fantastic food that would be left for us to enjoy, the beautiful melodies of happiness that will fill the air, and the exciting activities that will relieve our frustrations.

That night Victor E. saved Vintage Days, and he saved me- a lonely squirrel confused by his own introverted nature and desire to be alone. That night I learned to embrace the company of others and developed something to celebrate.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Restless Truths

Dreams are supposed to be wishes of your heart,
I feel they’re more like truths you can’t escape.

I suppose it’s not enough that I’ve succumbed to memories I can’t ignore,
  now your presence decides exists in my dreams too.

     I’ve fought your image with my pride and I’ve become exhausted.

The truth is painfully obvious-
  I leave your tongue and thoughts bitter
  and you leave me shattered.

Perhaps our kisses were malignant,
  and any romance with you would’ve been malevolent-
  With you, I still would’ve been happy.

If you asked me, I’d be yours;
the reality,
you never wanted me.